A Sleepwalk to Remember
by Dragon of Venus
Summary: Rukia is finally fed up with Byakuya, and decides to do something about it. Of course, she's not completely aware of this, seeing as she's kinda, sorta... sleepwalking. And she's taking it out on poor Ichigo! IchiRuki, rated for foul language a la Ichigo
1. The First Night

(January 14, 5:36 pm)

Hope everyone had a Happy New Year!

I'm not quite sure why this idea just popped into my head (I think I might be channeling something I saw on TV...), but, whatever. enjoy!

disclaimer: hmm... HMM... nope, don't own Bleach. bummer. (pouts)

A Sleepwalk to Remember

chapter 1

Rukia couldn't sleep. There was just too much on her mind. And it all concerned one particular shinigami with roof shingles in his hair.

She wasn't quite sure what to make of Byakuya. According to Ichigo, it was typical of an older brother to be weird, annoying, and occasionally thoughtless, but her brother took it to a whole other level. There were times where she was desperate to follow in his footsteps and be as elegant and popular as he was; others, she felt like poking one of those strange little juice box straws right through his big head.

She gave a silent groan before rolling onto her side and eventually falling into an uneasy, dreamless sleep.

XXXXXX

Later that night, Ichigo was awakened by a shadow casting over his bed. He opened his eyes and glanced at Rukia standing before him. He groaned. "Go back to sleep, Rukia," he mumbled, doing so himself... But before he could, he shot back up and looked at her again.

What was that in her hand?...

Ichigo stared at the thing she was holding. "Why do you have a--"

CLUNK!

"Ow!" Ichigo rubbed the spot on his head Rukia had just smacked with an empty soda bottle. "Rukia, why the hell are you--"

CLUNK!

"Cut it out!"

CLUNK!

"I said stop, dammit!"

CLUNK!

"Rukia!!"

... CLUNK!

Ichigo growled threateningly. "That's i-- Huh?"

He was interrupted by Rukia suddenly turning around, mumbling something incomprehensible, dropping the bottle on the floor, and going back to her closet-bed.

This strange event caused something in Ichigo's brain to temporarily shut down. When it rebooted, though, he got up and stomped over to Rukia's small room. "Rukia! Hey! Rukia, get up!"

A tired Rukia sat up slowly in her bed and gave Ichigo a half-asleep look. "What? Is there a hollow?"

Ichigo shot back a look that said, in a sense, "WTF?", while his mouth said, "'The hell are you talking about? You were just pummeling me with a bottle! You tell me!"

She sighed listlessly. "You must've been dreaming, Ichigo. I've been asleep all night."

"_What_?"

"Well, I was, until you barged in here and woke me up. Speaking of which, will you please let me go back to sleep? I'm exhausted."

After a confused silence on his part, Ichigo finally grumbled, "Fine. 'Night."

"Goodnight."

Before she went back to sleep, Rukia decided she had now safely come to the conclusion that Ichigo was insane.

XXXXXX

Ichigo was awakened again about an hour later when someone grabbed him by the head.

"GAH!! Get off me, ya friggin' maniac!" he shouted, wondering somewhere in his mind why none of his family was awakened by the racket coming from his room. As he continued to yell for the release of his poor orange scalp, he tried to catch a glimpse of the person he was trying to fight off.

He was momentarily silenced when he saw Rukia's hand attached to his head. "Oh, why am I not surprised?" he groaned.

Rukia then attempted to rip his hair out. At least, that's what it felt like to Ichigo. "Rukia," he finally cried, "for God's sake, will you knock it off?!"

As if on cue, she proceeded to collapse on Ichigo's bed. He jumped a little before giving her a gentle poke with his foot to make sure she wouldn't spring back to life and try to yank out his intestines or something, in classic horror movie fashion. When he was sure she was asleep, he got up and attempted to move her back to her own bed... Then he thought better of it, preferring his insides where they belonged, and moved himself to her bed instead.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rukia wasn't a very forgetful person. Yet, she had absolutely no clue how she woke up in a bed that wasn't hers.

After becoming conscious of her surroundings, she muttered to herself, "Why am I...? Where's--"

THUD.

Her head whipped around to face the closet. She got up, shook Kon off her leg after he magnetized himself to it, and slid open the door to reveal Ichigo lying on the bed looking rather uncomfortable.

"...Ichigo?"

"Oh, good," he growled. "You're awake. Now let me get back in my own bed, dammit."

She gave him a questioning look. "Yeah, how did I wind up over there?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Oh, here we go again," he groaned.

"What are you talking about?"

"This happened, like, twice last night, don't you remember?"

Rukia searched her memory for something resembling the events Ichigo had described. "It sounds familiar..." she finally responded. "But... I can't remember what happened."

Something clicked in Ichigo's mind. "Wait a sec, that's it."

"What?"

He opened his mouth, but all that came out was a yawn. "Gimme an hour and I'll tell ya."

---------------

I'm not quite sure how Rukia thinks of Byakuya, so I did the best I could. would anyone be so kind as to let me know if I'm at all accurate?

one other thing that I just realized: how the heck did she get a bed in Ichigo's closet??

oh, well. lemme know what ya think of this, alright? later! ;)


	2. The Second Night

(February 24, 2:20 am. I'm nocturnal!)

WOOOOOOOOOOW this one is long. ;P heheh. so, yeah, you'll notice the genre has changed a bit, 'cause... well... I couldn't resist throwing in my undying love for IchiRuki... I am a nocturnal dork.

disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Hannah Montana. you'll see...

chapter 2

An hour later, the two met back in Ichigo's room.

"So..." Rukia began, "what were you thinking?"

"...About what?" asked a drowsy Ichigo.

"About last night."

Being the teenager he was, Ichigo gave her an incredulous stare before remembering what "last night" meant. "Oh! Right! Um..."

"What did you think I meant?" Rukia asked, clearly confused.

Ichigo cleared his throat. "Nothing," he replied quickly. "S-So, um... yeah, I..."

"Yeah?" Rukia asked, dying to know.

Having regained himself, Ichigo went on, "...I think you were sleepwalking."

Rukia stared blankly at him for a moment. "Sleepwalking," she repeated. Ichigo nodded. "That's ridiculous," she almost laughed. "I've never sleepwalked, why would I start now?"

Ichigo opened his mouth, expecting an answer to come out. Instead, his jaw just hung there for a moment. "...Yeah, that one, I don't know the answer to, but--" The conversation was suddenly interrputed by a loud clatter coming from Ichigo's desk drawer, accompanied by muffled shouts of "Lemme outta here!" and "What's goin' on?!" and so on. Ichigo sighed. "You wanna go shut him up?"

"I'd be more than happy to," replied Rukia. But the moment she stood up, her feet flew out from underneath her and she hit the floor with an almost comical THUD.

Eyes wide, Ichigo peered over the edge of his bed and looked at Rukia as she lay on the floor. "You okay?"

Rukia sat up, rubbing her head. "Yeah..." She looked to her side and picked up the empty soda bottle she had tripped over. "What was this doing here anyway?"

"You brought it in here!" Ichigo shouted frustratedly.

"So, why don't I remember doing it?"

"_Because you were sleepwalking_!"

After taking a moment to think, Rukia sighed, "Fine, I'll just go with that. But now the question is... why?"

"Yeah..." Ichigo commented thoughtfully.

"Hellooooo! Is anybody gonna tell me what's going on out there?!" After a few more random shouts for good measure, Kon suddenly started making noises like he was suffocating. "No... air... Can't... breathe!" Ichigo walked over and slammed his hand on the desk just above Kon's drawer.

"Keep it up and I'll toss the entire desk out the window!" he called.

"Okay sorry," muttered Kon.

Ichigo put a hand to his head. _Agh, dammit,_ he thought, _I have no idea why Rukia was sleepwalking._ Not even a second later, he could pratically see the lightbulb flicker on above his head. _But I know someone who probably would..._ "I'll be back soon," he told Rukia suddenly.

"Where are you going?"

"Just... for a walk." That said, Ichigo left, closing his door behind him. ...And about five seconds later, he came back.

"You do realize you forgot to change," Rukia snickered.

"Shut up."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"C'mon, Ururu, just pitch it already!"

The small girl looked down at the beanbag she held in her hand. "Jinta, we really shouldn't be playing," she timidly responded.

"Ah, who cares?" said Jinta, in his usual obnoxious-little-brother manner. "It's not like we're gonna get caught. Now c'mon!"

Ururu sighed, then threw the baseball-like bag with all her might. Jinta whacked the bag with his broom, lost his grip, and watched both the broom and the beanbag go sailing through the air, until they crashed through a windowpane in the front of the shop. As he stared in shock at the shattered glass, Ururu put a hand to her chin.

"Was that always there?" she wondered aloud.

Jinta screamed. "That's not important, you dummy! Help me fix it!"

She heaved another sigh. "I told you it wasn't a good idea."

"Hey!" The two froze upon hearing the sudden voice. A moment later, Kisuke walked out, scratching the back of his head. "What's goin' on out here?" he went on.

"N-n-nothing! Nothing at all!" Jinta stuttered. "Uh, why do you ask? Heh."

Kisuke looked around. "Thought I heard something break."

Jinta gulped. "Uh, w-well, uh..."

"Urahara!" Jinta whipped his head around to see Ichigo standing behind him. He heaved a sigh, overcome with relief.

The man in question smiled at his guest. "Ichigo! What brings you to my shop? Need something?"

Ichigo took a moment to ponder this. "Well... kinda."

Kisuke waved his fan toward the doorway. "C'mon in! We'll talk later, alright, Jinta?"

The boy gave a shaky salute. "S-sure thing, boss." The moment the two men stepped inside the shop, Jinta collapsed. Ururu was surprised for a second or two, then went back to work.

"So, what can I do for you, Ichigo?"

The boy leaned on the wall and sighed. "I need to ask you something."

Kisuke grinned. "Fire away."

"...What do you know about sleepwalking?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey, Rukia..." Ichigo stepped into his room later that day, and was greeted with Kon's leg flying toward his face, which he caught just moments before it made contact.

"Your father has trained you well, Ichigo," Kon stated thoughtfully.

Ichigo proceeded to throw the lion on the floor. He landed with a humorous _squeak_.

Rukia looked up from her magazine as she lay on the floor. "Yeah?"

He went on, "I got some help about your.. problem."

She rolled her eyes. "Y'know, Ichigo, there is a possibility that you dreamed it."

Ichigo growled and picked up the soda bottle. "Can you dream this kinda pain?"

CLUNK!

"Ow!" Rukia yelped, rubbing her head. "Fine, maybe you do have something there."

Satisfied, Ichigo put down the bottle (which quite possibly landed on Kon's head) and went on, "Okay, so from what I hear, sleepwalking can be triggered by stress, so--"

"Where'd you find that out?" Rukia asked curiously.

Ichigo thought back to his conversation with Kisuke, but there was no way he'd admit he had to ask that weirdo for help. "...Internet."

Rukia looked skeptical, but she nodded, accepting his answer.

"So..." Ichigo went on, joining her on the floor, "are you stressed?"

"No."

Aww, they're both liars. See, they're perfect for each other!

She sighed. "Well, maybe."

With a sudden interest, Ichigo leaned closer and asked, "What's up? Is it Renji? Tell me it's Renji!" The last two sentences were spoken quickly, almost in one breath.

She looked up at him and rose an eyebrow.

"I- I mean, um..." He smiled sheepishly. "Nevermind."

Rukia breathed another sigh and went on, "I'll be honest. Ko--"

Before she could finish, the two looked and saw Kon standing right next to them, leaning his ear toward the conversation. Rukia huffed, got up, grabbed him by the head, and threw him into his drawer, locking it shut. Amongst random cries of "What's the big idea?!" and such, she went on, "He is driving me insane!"

Ichigo snickered, equally as irritated by the mod soul. "Join the club. 'Long as you ignore him, he'll probably stop."

"That goes for you, too, y'know."

"Yeah, I know," he nodded. "So, uh, maybe now that you've got that out, you'll stop...?"

After taking a second or two to think, she shrugged. "We'll just have to see, I guess. But, on one condition."

"What's that?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That night, as promised, Ichigo left his video camera on his nightstand to record what happened during the night. Rukia _wanted_ proof, she was _getting_ proof.

The perfect opportunity arose when she grabbed him by the head, yet again, and this time slammed it against his headboard.

"YOW!" He clutched his head and looked up. "What the hell, Rukia?!" he growled. "I thought you were over this!"

Rukia narrowed her eyes at him and walked toward the window. She opened it, reached down, and picked up...

"HOLY CRAP!"

...his guitar.

He zipped out of his bed and grabbed Rukia by the arms before she could toss the guitar out the second-story window.

"Okay, I'm starting to think Kon's not the one pissin' you off!" he shouted.

As if on cue, Kon then hopped onto Ichigo's shoulder and asked, "Why would you even think that in the first place?"

"Will you shut up and help me?!"

Kon looked around as if searching for a more detailed request. "Whaddya want me to do?"

The moment Ichigo opened his mouth, he realized he didn't have an answer. "Yeah, forget it, just... go."

Giving a quick salute before doing as told, Kon hopped onto Ichigo's bed. The boy then proceeded to yank his guitar from Rukia's grasp and point it at her like a stick. "Alright, I don't know what's goin' on with you, Rukia," he said in a demanding tone, "but you gotta stop!"

Rukia stared at him silently for a moment. And then...

SLAP.

Ichigo blinked and rose an eyebrow. "'The hell'd you do that for?!"

SLAP.

He growled again. "Okay, that is it!"

As his hand shot out, Kon flew toward him and dangled from his wrist. "Don't even think about it!"

"Why not?"

"Three reasons: one, you should never hit a girl; two, epsecially not Rukia; and three, _never_ wake a sleepwalker, ya moron!!"

Putting down his guitar, Ichigo asked, "I repeat, why not?"

The stuffed animal shrugged, leaping to Ichigo's nightstand. "Hell if I know, but that's what everyone says. I can't believe you've never heard that!"

"I've heard it, I just have no idea why ya shouldn't do it."

"Ah, who does?"

Ichigo shrugged back. Just then, he noticed Rukia heading back to the closet. "Oh, no you don't!" He grabbed her shoulder and spun her to face him. "You better tell me what's goin' on right now!"

She stared up at him and mumbled the same thing she had said the night before.

"Nii-sama."

And just as it had the previous night, for a split second, Ichigo's brain shut down. "What'd you call me?"

However, Rukia passing out against his chest was not the answer he'd expected.

Ichigo blushed as Kon cast them a weird look and stated simply, "That was weird."

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed. "...But I think I know what's been bugging her now."

"And it's not me, right?"

He smirked wickedly. "Could be."

Shocked, the lion sulked back to his drawer. Ichigo, meanwhile, gently lifted Rukia into his arms and walked over to the closet, slid the door open with his foot, and carefully dropped her back into her bed. And for a moment, he just looked at her.

_She almost looks kinda... cute._

The second this thought crossed his mind, Rukia stirred, but --fortunately for Ichigo-- didn't wake up. He jumped back, slightly freaked out by the sudden-ness of what had just happened (a/n: if I may quote neptune sea, if sudden-ness isn't a word, IT IS NOW!). When he saw that she didn't wake, he breathed a sigh of relief and headed back for his own bed.

It was at _this_ moment that Kon literally jumped into his face.

"_What_?"

"I have an idea!"

"Oh, God."

"But it's a good one! Trust me, I saw it on TV! I know how to stop Rukia from sleepwalking!"

Ichigo's eyes widened at the mention of a potential life-saver. "Seriously?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_Seriously_?"

The boy lay on the floor, right in front of the closet, with a pillow and blanket, as Kon had instructed. "You expect me to sleep down here 'til we figure something out??... And wasn't this on some girly show?"

After being so suddenly bombarded with questions, Kon first decided to attack the latter. "How would you know?" The two stared at each other for a moment. "...Yuzu?"

"Yuzu."

Kon sighed. "Yeah, me, too. But just trust me on this! It worked for Jackson!"

Ichigo huffed. "Kon, just shut up and lemme get to sleep."

----------------

I had to end it here, otherwise it'd be about five pages long. (aaaahhhhh!) I guess you could say I channelled (sp?) my inner super-awesome-Bleach-fanfic-author for the last part of this one. and in other news, my town FINALLY got a decent amount of snow this week! I got to go sledding! YAAAAYYY! and, winter break's almost over. goodbye, slacking off and doing nothing on a Monday. boo.

alright, today my question of the day is: does Kon eat and do normal human stuff? I mean, I realize he's technically _not_ human, but, still... and I just realized that for this chapter, every scene ends with Ichigo saying something. huh...

okay, enough of my stupid babbling. r&r please:)


End file.
